It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
