: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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