You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
