I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
People in love make me want to vomit
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
