Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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