We're facebook friends in real life
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
