are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
