So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize