no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
