Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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