Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
