Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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