his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
