maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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