That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I had to cum in my sink.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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