Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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