Define "chronic" masturbator.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
