I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
