just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize