Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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