today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How's work?
Spinning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
