girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
