Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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