he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
