Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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