New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have already put on my inside pants.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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