yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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