quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
