if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
