He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
