I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
