Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
