you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
