maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
