I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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