Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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