I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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