How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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