I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
