we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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