You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
