Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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