Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
