Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't turn off my feet"
third nipple confirmed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
