I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
