I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
