i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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