so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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