dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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