They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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