Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
