I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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