i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
