Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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