I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
