sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
