put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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