Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
