just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
