Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
