this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
