Got a toothbrush?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
