you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
