On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
